Top 30 Random Chuck Norris facts.

Shaun41178(2) · Post by **Shaun41178(2)** » Wed Nov 09, 2005 9:33 pm

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/

Funny ass stuff. Bet you guys didnt' know this about Chuck.

DiggityBiggity · Post by **DiggityBiggity** » Thu Nov 10, 2005 1:08 am

Every time Chuck Norris does a roundhouse kick, an angel gets its wings.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris can ejaculate through solid steel.

When Chuck Norris was denied a McGriddle at McDonalds because it was 10:35, He roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendys.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mothers womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris doesnt believe in Germany.

One drop of Chuck Norris sweat can cure you of anything, even death.

Chuck Norriss heart beats once every full moon.

Occasionally Chuck Norris will call up the Power Rangers just to say hi.

Chuck Norris has no concept of time; if you go to his house you wont find a single clock. When you ask to leave because its getting late he stares at you blankly until you sit back down.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris enemies just check the extinct species list.

If Chuck Norris had a dollar and you had a dollar, Chuck would kick your ass and take your dollar.

Chuck Norris once fought off 42 ninjas blindfolded, while having sex with 3 women.

Chuck Norris has beaten more people in hand-to-hand combat then you have seen in your entire life.

Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris house is a Total Gym.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the earth, thus creating the hole in the ozone layer.

Chuck Norris once did a back flip off the Great Wall of China.

Chuck Norris doesnt need to swallow when eating food.

Chuck Norris can divide by Zero

If Superman and the Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win: Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix Cube and poop it out solved.

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » Thu Nov 10, 2005 1:25 am

This one just earned my sig:

If Chuck Norris had a dollar and you had a dollar, Chuck would kick your ass and take your dollar.

DiggityBiggity · Post by **DiggityBiggity** » Thu Nov 10, 2005 1:28 am

This was my favorite...

"Every peice of furniture in Chuck Norris' house is a Total Gym. "

Your concerned leader

Diggity"The rubix cube one was second to that"Biggity

EBSB52 · Post by **EBSB52** » Thu Nov 10, 2005 12:36 pm

Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix Cube and poop it out solved.

Naw, that was #1 - I'm still laughing :la:

notyourmomma · Post by **notyourmomma** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 7:11 pm

Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks. :thumbleft:

Sabre · Post by **Sabre** » Mon Nov 14, 2005 11:56 am

"The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain"

"If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death."

Those are my favorites

stimpy · Post by **stimpy** » Mon Nov 14, 2005 3:56 pm

Bill Brasky could kick Chuck Norris' candy ass.

Kohburn · Post by **Kohburn** » Mon Nov 14, 2005 3:58 pm

i hope chuck norris is a better fighter than his coriography, because while he is doing a roundhouse in one of his movies jet lee could kick him in the head 5 times and tear his heart out through his ass

Shaun41178(2) · Post by **Shaun41178(2)** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 2:38 pm

whipped · Post by **whipped** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 3:40 pm

haha

Chuck Norris - Ain' afraid of hittin' a woman

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » Sun Nov 20, 2005 4:17 pm

whipped wrote:haha

Chuck Norris - Ain' afraid of hittin' a woman

That made me laugh.

The Dark Side of Will · Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:35 pm

http://www.thatvideosite.com/view/1839.html

Chuck Norris is Superhuman.

The Dark Side of Will · Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:21 pm

http://icanhascheezburger.com/2008/02/0 ... ink-fence/

lucky · Post by **lucky** » Fri Apr 04, 2008 2:42 pm

the quickest way to a man's heart is chuck norris' fist.

The Dark Side of Will · Fri Apr 04, 2008 7:03 pm

DiggityBiggity wrote:Chuck Norris can divide by Zero

I forgot he could divide by zero. That's pretty cool.

(Yes, I'm a geek.) :thumbleft:

leppy_89 · Post by **leppy_89** » Thu May 22, 2008 11:42 pm

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and poops gunpowder. He then uses the gunpowder to make more bullets, which he then uses to kill cows to make more beef jerky. They call this, the circle of life.

Shaun41178(2) · Post by **Shaun41178(2)** » Thu May 22, 2008 11:48 pm

this is still going?

Xanth · Post by **Xanth** » Fri May 23, 2008 12:23 am

Chuck Norris approves of Lesbians :thumbleft:

lucky · Post by **lucky** » Fri May 23, 2008 3:29 am

not exactly the way I remember that movie, but funny (and well edited)

Chuck Norris has 2 speeds: walk and kill.