How to get Fagland girls
Posted: Sun May 29, 2005 2:58 pm
Ok I said I would make this post like over a week ago and I finally decided to sit down and type it up. I will try to keep metaphors and double entendres to a minimum to allow the minds of Fiero owners every to understand what I am talking about.
What do you need to do to get a Fagland chick into bed you might ask? Well there are a few things. But first I have to ask why on gods green earth would you even want to bed down with one of these wildabeasts in the first place? Thats a question only you can answer but most likely its because you have a fat fetish. Another topic for another day. Onto "How to score Fagland Pussy"
First thing you need to do is get in spinchat(Fagchat) everynight. Talk about how girls suck and how your super hot G/f just dumped you. There might not be any Fagland pussy in there at the time, but someone will hear you and word will spread quickly. Also let the Fagchat dialogue spill over into new posts in O/T. You have to let those fat bitches know that you are available and ready for some fat lovin.
Next you need to post a pic of yourself but from a shitty webcam so details are lacking. Choose your best side and go with low light situations. Spend 30 minutes on your hair if you have to to get it just right. You can always say you just tossed it real quick. They dont' need to know right? Spending 31 minutes would be gay though so keep it to a max of 30.
Always laugh at the fat bitches posts. Tell them how funny they are. This goes both ways as well. Always make funny posts. Fat chicks love guys with personality. Hell they usually have nice personalities as well, frankly because they had to because they are so fat and ugly.
Always stick up for them even if it sickens you. if someone else is bagging on them you need to come to the rescue. Who says chivalry is dead?
THey are fat. So they obviously like to eat. If you meet at a show dont' be afraid to ask them if they want to grab a bite. The answer will never be no. In fact they will probably eat more then you, and then be hungry 2 hours later. Keep snacks in your Fiero. It will keep them coming back during shows wanting to grab some high caloric fat inducing food. This gives yuo the chance to flirt with them even more and tell them how hot they are(even if you are lieing, you just want to make a video busting a nut on their face so you can post it on the intarwebnets) Its all about getting your nut off. They dont' need to know its a lie. Whatever you do dont' tell them its a lie... duh.
Fagland bitches are fat. Thats a given. Which means they probably get tired easily. Always carry a folding chair with you. They will think its nice that they can sit down anywhere knowing they will have a seat handy. Yea it will suck for you to carry around that chair, but hey its what you gotta do to score that ever so sweet fatty poon.
Alcohol too of course. This is the clincher. Feed them drinks to they beleive that Earl Hagmen is hot. If you can get them to say that, then you are golden. If not just slip them a mickey.
Never allow other Fagland members to see you two leaving togethor. You dont' want anyone to know whats going to happen or what has happened untill AFTER the video is posted of you porking the fat greasy slobs. Take a different exit. If the pig says she is ready to go act like you dont' know what she is talking about if others are around.
If I have helped just one person to score that Fagland fat, then this post was worht it. Feel free to add anything that you deem fit, or unfit
What do you need to do to get a Fagland chick into bed you might ask? Well there are a few things. But first I have to ask why on gods green earth would you even want to bed down with one of these wildabeasts in the first place? Thats a question only you can answer but most likely its because you have a fat fetish. Another topic for another day. Onto "How to score Fagland Pussy"
First thing you need to do is get in spinchat(Fagchat) everynight. Talk about how girls suck and how your super hot G/f just dumped you. There might not be any Fagland pussy in there at the time, but someone will hear you and word will spread quickly. Also let the Fagchat dialogue spill over into new posts in O/T. You have to let those fat bitches know that you are available and ready for some fat lovin.
Next you need to post a pic of yourself but from a shitty webcam so details are lacking. Choose your best side and go with low light situations. Spend 30 minutes on your hair if you have to to get it just right. You can always say you just tossed it real quick. They dont' need to know right? Spending 31 minutes would be gay though so keep it to a max of 30.
Always laugh at the fat bitches posts. Tell them how funny they are. This goes both ways as well. Always make funny posts. Fat chicks love guys with personality. Hell they usually have nice personalities as well, frankly because they had to because they are so fat and ugly.
Always stick up for them even if it sickens you. if someone else is bagging on them you need to come to the rescue. Who says chivalry is dead?
THey are fat. So they obviously like to eat. If you meet at a show dont' be afraid to ask them if they want to grab a bite. The answer will never be no. In fact they will probably eat more then you, and then be hungry 2 hours later. Keep snacks in your Fiero. It will keep them coming back during shows wanting to grab some high caloric fat inducing food. This gives yuo the chance to flirt with them even more and tell them how hot they are(even if you are lieing, you just want to make a video busting a nut on their face so you can post it on the intarwebnets) Its all about getting your nut off. They dont' need to know its a lie. Whatever you do dont' tell them its a lie... duh.
Fagland bitches are fat. Thats a given. Which means they probably get tired easily. Always carry a folding chair with you. They will think its nice that they can sit down anywhere knowing they will have a seat handy. Yea it will suck for you to carry around that chair, but hey its what you gotta do to score that ever so sweet fatty poon.
Alcohol too of course. This is the clincher. Feed them drinks to they beleive that Earl Hagmen is hot. If you can get them to say that, then you are golden. If not just slip them a mickey.
Never allow other Fagland members to see you two leaving togethor. You dont' want anyone to know whats going to happen or what has happened untill AFTER the video is posted of you porking the fat greasy slobs. Take a different exit. If the pig says she is ready to go act like you dont' know what she is talking about if others are around.
If I have helped just one person to score that Fagland fat, then this post was worht it. Feel free to add anything that you deem fit, or unfit